The fifth question: Where are our loved ones this seder?

Normally, we ask four questions at the Seder. This year we must shout a fifth: "Why are our loved ones not sitting at the table with us?"

 Hersh Goldberg-Polin (photo credit: Courtesy)
Hersh Goldberg-Polin
(photo credit: Courtesy)

Passover is our holiday of celebrating the Jewish people's transformation from individuals who were enslaved into a nation that was free.

Upon writing this, we, as a nation, find ourselves enslaved once again.

On October 7, 2023, an atrocity, the likes of which we have not seen since the end of the Holocaust, befell our people. And now, our grandfathers, spouses, brothers, sisters, sons, and daughters are, shockingly, still being held captive in tormented slavery.

Normally, we ask four questions at the Seder. This year we must shout a fifth: "Why are our loved ones not sitting at the table with us?"

This year, more than ever in our lifetimes, when we eat the bread of affliction, taste the bitter herbs, or envision what it feels like to be enslaved, each act will take on a deeper, a more profound, intensity than we have ever experienced.

 RACHEL GOLDBERG, mother of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, speaks during a rally for the hostages, marking 100 days since the start of the war between Israel and Hamas, outside the Jerusalem Municipality, in January..  (credit: YONATAN SINDEL/FLASH90)
RACHEL GOLDBERG, mother of Hersh Goldberg-Polin, speaks during a rally for the hostages, marking 100 days since the start of the war between Israel and Hamas, outside the Jerusalem Municipality, in January.. (credit: YONATAN SINDEL/FLASH90)

Do any of us actually need salt-water this year to remind us of the tears the Jewish people felt during their captivity as slaves in Egypt? After daily tears for 199 days,  I think not. This year, every one of those experiences is real for too many of our brothers and sisters. 

The Seder is designed to elicit and encourage questions. Now, more than ever, all we have are questions. Where better to hash out our most weighty and painful queries than at the Seder table?

It has been said that the proverbial "Four Sons" are actually four different personality types of people who may be attending the Seder. They could be curious, contrary, simple or passive.

But this year there is a fifth person we should be thinking about. It is a hostage who may have one of those personality traits, but they are not present because they are trapped in an unimaginable place.

With tears running down my face, I ask and write another question right now...How. Can. This. Be?

Hope is mandatory

When thinking back to last Passover, to our last Seder, it is unfathomable to imagine that we would be where we are now; as a family, as a nation, or as a people. But...

Hope is Mandatory. That is what it is to be part of the Jewish nation. We are a people who will never give up. We will keep going until we are free, all of us, in body and soul.

May we merit to immediately be sitting again with all our loved ones, free and healing...and singing Dayenu, together. It surely is enough. Enough.

May the Passover aspiration of לשנה הבאה בני חורין -next year may we be free people, be truer than ever for all of our loved ones. Every single one. Amen!

Rachel Polin-Goldberg is a resident of Jerusalem. Her son, Hersh, has been held by Hamas in Gaza since October 7.