We all want peace, don’t we?

The Tedx Jaffa event, independently convened, was curated along the theme ‘Desire to know the other.’

By AKIN AJAYI
Classroom cartoon 521 (photo credit: Courtesy)
Classroom cartoon 521
(photo credit: Courtesy)
When I was in second grade, I sat next to an unruly and thoroughly undisciplined child. Needless to say, I worshiped the very ground he walked on.
We used to have this weekly class exercise, learning aphorisms and wise sayings by rote. After a short cramming session, we’d close our books and then be tested on what we had managed to stuff into our recalcitrant little minds. Teacher would announce the first word of the aphorism he had in mind, then the class would chant out the rest, in slightly ragged unison.
Absence? – makes the heart grow fonder.
A stitch? – in time saves nine.
And so on.
My unruly little friend hated this stuff, as he did most things connected with supposed self-improvement.
He bridled at the time wasted on tree-hugging nonsense such as this, time that could be better used breaking windows and suchlike. Of course, it was only a matter of time before he cracked.
In class one day: Penny? – wise, pound foolish.
Before you criticize a man – walk a mile in his shoes.
My friend’s hand shot up like a rocket.
“Yes?” “If you walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, won’t you be a mile away with something that doesn’t belong to you? Best to choose carefully whose shoes you intend to make away with...”
I’m not sure that this was entirely original thought. Still we laughed, long and loud. Teacher had the last word though, with after-school detention for the class for our insolence.
I was reminded of this last week. I was in Jaffa, attending a conference put together under the auspices of TED. TED is an international non-profit dedicated to spreading good ideas, ideas that can improve the world we live in. TedxJaffa, independently convened, was curated along the theme “Desire to know the other”: A worthy idea, I thought, but one asking to have a bit of fun poked at it. So off I went, curious but also a little skeptical.
Let me explain my position a little more clearly: the “other,” along with words like “peace,” “coexistence” and the like, have become buzzwords for engaging with the complicated relationship between majority and minority communities in Israel. Lord knows, these are things that do need to be talked about, and acted upon. But the problem – as I see it anyway – is that these things so often become an end in themselves.
It’s not that initiatives like this aren’t useful or important. (Do I really need to spell out the oh-somany ways in which community relations in Israel have become a fractious, mutually distrustful arena? Nah, I didn’t think so.) The thing is that catchphrases and buzzwords quickly become cliches. Everyone recognizes them, but no one ever really thinks about what they mean. They’re repeated over and over, mantra-like, until they’re shorn of all contextual meaning. And, like the aphorism about walking in a man’s shoes, they beg to be subverted.
Take “peace” for example. We all want peace, don’t we? (Go on, show me someone who openly relishes the prospect of endless conflict and strife over peace and quiet. Then I’ll show you the nearest mental health facility.) But what do we mean by “peace”? We all have our own definition, our own take on what “peace” requires. And so, the cliche merely creates a superficial meeting of minds, one bound to collapse at the slightest strain.
But back to Jaffa. And here’s where I was wrong.
I can’t quite put my finger on what exactly it was.
Certainly, it had something to do with the speakers.
They came from a range of disciplines and life experiences, but somehow – perhaps even counter-intuitively – fitted the theme of the event perfectly.
There was a neuropsychologist who spoke about her research, looking at how broadening our social experiences increases our capacity for empathy. There was a Palestinian entrepreneur, who runs an organization facilitating engagement – visits, talks, encounters, not just talking shops – between Israelis and Palestinians. There was an academic and community organizer, a Beduin woman, who described her first experience in the field as shepherding 30 sheep, two cows and donkey. (“You’ll be surprised how much the two activities have in common,” she commented dryly.) And there was a mathematician, who demonstrated the practical application of game theory to human relations in the most unexpected and witty fashion.
Audience engagement was a key feature of the day.
Between talks, I chatted with a venture capitalist with interesting ideas about communal identity, capitalism and army service. Later, I spoke with an economist, the founder of an NGO based on the principles of microfinance but specifically geared to encourage refugees to set up small businesses. And all through the day, I kept thinking about my friend from second grade and his little act of subversiveness.
These days, I think of the exercise in grade school as a cliche; not because they lacked application in the real world, but because it was preoccupied with studying the form without engaging with the content.
If I were a betting man, I’d wager that my teacher from way back when was merely concerned with getting as many of these worthy concepts into our heads as possible, without getting us to think too deeply about what they meant. The odd thing is that my unruly friend actually did think about what we were learning; that’s how he got such a laugh out of us.
In the crowded marketplace of Middle Eastern talking shops, the “desire to know the other” could easily fall into the category of cliche. But last week it didn’t. I’m not sure if the organizers of TedxJaffa would actually thank me for saying this, but I think that it worked because they had the guts to be subversive.
They curated an event that in many ways was removed from the jaw-jaw of community relations, both with speakers and audience. And one reason why is because, in getting to know the other, it gave us a chance to know ourselves, and what we know. Good for them.
The website for TedxJaffa is www.TedxJaffa.com.

The talks will be available online in six to eight weeks. Check them out. They’ll be worth watching.