Waiting for Kardashian

‘The Jerusalem Post’ opinion editor became a celebrity stalker for an evening — and he’ll never do it again.

Kim Kardashian  (photo credit: REUTERS)
Kim Kardashian
(photo credit: REUTERS)
They came from all over the world to see her. From Mexico, France, the University of Chicago, Yeshivat Netiv Arieh, the Jewish seminary Midreshet Harova and other yeshivot in Jerusalem’s Old City. Only in Jerusalem would the majority of celebrity spotters be composed of youth who study Torah most of the week but keep up with the latest shenanigans of Scott Disick, the longtime boyfriend of Kourtney Kardashian.
Kim Kardashian, her husband rapper Kanye West and their daughter North arrived in Israel on April 13 for a rushed two days. Their original plans to stay at the Waldorf Astoria in Jerusalem were reportedly canceled at the last minute when details of the stay were leaked to the press. This began 24 hours of chaotic interest in where this celebrity royal family would be in the holy city. News that they would go to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre and be making their way to the Western Wall brought hundreds out yesterday to try to find them.
“I thought all the Armenians were dead,” one young man said to his friend as they bundled up for the brisk night air near the Kotel. It was still daylight, and the murmuring of hundreds of hassidic men could be heard from the Western Wall as the Muslim call to prayer echoed.
“No, they were in Armenia just now. It’s a country, and Kanye West gave a free concert there,” explained another friend. “But I walk by those Armenian genocide posters every day,” the first one countered.
Information about the Kardashians and their trip was spotty. One woman didn’t know if North was a boy or a girl. “It’s a girl, I think.”
Yakir Greenberg and his three friends Daniel Fellus, Yosef Itzkowitz and Noah K. waited at the Kotel for more than an hour hoping to get a glimpse.
Itzkowitz, who is from Florida, thought that Kim and her family would bring a lot of interest in Jerusalem, parroting John Lennon’s quip, “They bring more people than God. They are superstars, and it’s not every day you get to see a celebrity.”
Itzkowitz said he had never seen a celebrity before. Fellus was more interested to see if they were as good looking in person as they are on the TV show.
“I want to see Kanye in the men’s section [of the Kotel]… For them, it is a cultural experience [that draws them here] and they want to see a spiritual place,” added Greenberg.
There was some discussion among the young men, who are studying in yeshiva before returning to the US for college, about whether Kanye was as interesting as Lil Wayne or Drake, the half-Jewish rapper.
Suddenly a black SUV pulled up outside the security gate near the Kotel. “It’s them!” someone shouted.
But it wasn’t “them,” it was just a haredi man with a handicapped friend who needed to park closer to the Western Wall. The conversation among the students returned to questions of modesty and whether or not the Kardashians would respect the Kotel environment.
Noah wondered if Kim, who is known for her voluptuous body, would wear a headscarf. Itzkowitz wondered whether their arrival would be an interruption in the prayers of the religious men gathered at the site.
“When they walk in, no one will be praying,” he said.
Their friends from yeshiva, which is on break at the moment, had not come to join them, but the four friends agreed that unlike some in their community, this was super important. They also agreed that some rabbis, who might oppose the suggestive qualities of Kim, probably hadn’t heard of her, since many haredi men refrain from using the Internet and certainly do not tune in to the latest episode of Keeping Up with the Kardashians.
The weather was getting colder now, plummeting to 8º. A tall man with a small security detail made his way through the security gate, and it turned out to be former chief of staff Benny Gantz. A few of the other photographers who had gathered to await Kim ran to get a photo, but most people seemed to have no idea who he was.
Elana Hasson and her friend Rikki Pasternak admitted they had been waiting since 2 p.m. for the family.
“I’m obsessed with Kim,” said Seattle native Hasson, who studies at Midreshet Harova. “I’ve had a long relationship with the show, watching it through the years and feel close to the Kardashians.”
But why wasn’t Kim here yet? “She’s not updating her Instagram. She doesn’t want paparazzi. She went to the Armenian Quarter to see her roots and have family time together.”
Hasson had prayed at the Kotel before waiting for Kim, so she admitted that waiting there was not a total waste of time.
As the night wore on past 8 p.m., the number of those waiting dwindled to a handful, as well as some freezing cold photographers who shuffled between rolling cigarettes and chatting with the local police to see if there was an update. Scott Ratner, who teaches Hebrew to Palestinian youth in east Jerusalem, and his girlfriend, Bilha Calderon, a Mexican journalist, were losing patience.
“We waited an hour,” said Ratner, who had come because Calderon wanted to see Kim.
Around by the security entrance, where a giant mezuza hangs next to a placard dedicated to former politician Shmuel Flatto-Sharon, a family from Gilo was depressed. Although the mother claimed she had come “for the children to see Kim,” it seemed that the kids were freezing and wanted to leave, while the mother was interested in seeing the celebrities.
“Are you paparazzi?” she asked me. “Only tonight,” I thought.
And I’ll never do this again. I’ll never spend four hours waiting in the cold for nothing to happen, along with other people who suffered for hours to see Kim, Kanye and North grace the Kotel.