September 14: Courtesy in class

University seniors who are education majors face their student teaching experience with trepidation after reports of fellow students reduced to tears by classes of unruly, disrespectful pupils.

By JERUSALEM POST STAFF
letters 88 (photo credit: Courtesy)
letters 88
(photo credit: Courtesy)
Courtesy in class Sir, - Israel's poor educational showing should surprise no one who has any contact with our abysmal school system. One of our major failures not mentioned in your news report "Int'l education survey gives Israel failing grade" or Calev Ben-David's fine analysis "What the OECD report doesn't say" (both September 10) was the near non-existence of discipline and common courtesy among students in many, possibly most classrooms. University seniors who are education majors face their student teaching experience with trepidation after reports of fellow students reduced to tears by classes of unruly, disrespectful pupils. Who are the adults responsible for teaching common courtesy to children? This is not part of the job description of our educational professionals. Where are the parents who should be raising their offspring to show respect for others, peers as well as adults? These lessons need to be taught before youngsters begin their formal education. Rules of proper conduct must be established for the school system and clarified to students and their parents, along with the penalties for breaking them. HELEN SULLUM Jerusalem Very dirty laundry Sir, - Re "Defense Ministry: Barghouti unlikely to unite Palestinian factions if freed" (September 10): Israel must not negotiate the release of Marwan Barghouti. This would show incredible weakness. It would invite further kidnappings, and the Gilad Schalit situation would degenerate to being a laundry list of future demands. Why would the current government risk freeing a killer? Such an act cannot enhance any politician's future. What it would do is signal our many enemies that the State of Israel can now be manipulated by gangsters. I live thousands of miles away, but I see see no future in these negotiations. It's complex? Sure. If it was easy, everyone would be a leader. RON POMERANTZ Parkland, Florida Sir, - Yossi Alpher wrote that as Arab terrorists are released, so should "Israelis jailed for many years for murdering Arabs" be. Two problems: First, not many Israelis have murdered Arabs. Second, Israeli society doesn't care if they stay in jail - in contrast with even our supposed peace partners among the Arabs, who hail murderers as role models. It is the moral imbalance between the sides - and not this or that tactic of freeing or not freeing prisoners to Hamas, Fatah or Hizbullah - that makes today's peace efforts futile ("In praise of prisoner releases,"September 9). MARK L. LEVINSON Herzliya Transitioning from gay Sir, - I was surprised at David Benkof's claim that JONAH promotes the ideas of a Christian convert (Richard Cohen), one of the expounders of the ways to transition from the gay life-style when it is felt as a burdensome addiction ("'Ex-gay' isn't kosher," August 11). JONAH is a self-help group for transitioning same-sex addicts like myself, and its Web site has information about many different groups and experts in this field, not only Jewish ones. I used to live a gay life-style in my twenties, but in my thirties I did teshuva and am now living as a contented husband and father of two children. (My family knows about my past problems). By using various techniques, among them years of the Freudian analysis of the Socarides-Nicolosi school, 12-Step programs like Sexaholics Anonymous, Co-Counseling and religious techniques of self-discipline plus suggestions from Cohen's books and lectures, I am now relieved of the compulsive part of this partly "parenting-deficit-related" inner struggle. There is not much difference between the Jewish-origin religions on the issue of gay sex, and it is fairly frequent nowadays - and particularly before JONAH was created, in 2000 - for some Jews to opt for a (Jewish-friendly) charismatic Christian denomination to treat their problems. It is understandable that Mr. Benkof hopes Mr. Cohen will eventually do teshuva regarding his conversion to Christianity, but to vilify a whole self-help organization - with the risk of endangering the healing process of hundreds of effectively progressing clients like myself - for a minor "defect" such as this is a doubtful endeavor. And it is, hopefully, counterproductive: As a JONAH member, I would even thank Mr. Benkof for his attacks, because nowadays any non-mainstream venture needing some PR gets mention in the media only if attacked on some unimportant point - as Mr. Benkof has done. G. URI KOZMA KLEIN Rabbinical Seminary Budapest David Benkof responds: Richard Cohen was only a small aspect of my article. I encourage Mr. Klein to get in touch with me (davidbenkof@aol.com) because in nearly a decade of searching, I have not encountered a single JONAH member who changed orientations as a result of JONAH's techniques. Maybe they exist; but I don't understand why JONAH won't let me speak with them. What about it, Shmuley? Sir, - Once again Shmuley Boteach espouses his views of a meaningless life in America and a negative place to raise one's children ("Should a new mother run for vice president?" September 9). This constant America-bashing boggles the mind. In great part because of such evaluations, my husband, myself and our three children made aliya 36 years ago and continue to live here with our grandchildren and great-grandchildren, the country's problems notwithstanding. Rabbi Boteach: Why not put your money where your mouth is and join your fellow Americans who chose to make their lives in Eretz Israel? NAOMI FEINSTEIN Givat Ada