In this week''s parsha we read that “lanochach eshto” – Isaac prayed for his barren wife Rivka and she conceived. It is notable that the term “lanochach eshto” - literally reads that he prayed ''standing before'' or ''facing'' his wife and she conceived. Midrash Rabbah picks up on this curious phrase and paints a picture of Isaac and Rivka standing together, facing eachother in sincere prayer for children. It''s a poignant image of a couple working together in a striking face-to-face pose; an admirable Biblical model for partnership. So one might ask, if this is such a partnership, why is it that it is Isaac''s prayer that was recorded & heard by God. Most commentaries state that his prayers were heard because he was the son of a saint, whereas Rivka is the daughter of an evil man. The poem I''m about to share ponders an additional possibility as to why it was necessarily Isaac''s prayer that brought about the conception. But first, let''s look briefly at a little of what we know about Isaac''s psychological makeup. Later in the parsha we read of how Isaac''s eyes grew dim in his old age. The Midrash explicitely links Isaac''s blindness to his experience of being bound upon the altar of Moriah. It records that angels witnessing the binding wept tears that dropped into Isaac''s eyes and that these very tears caused his blindness in later life. Aviva Zornberg likens his blindness to a type of psychological vertigo. She notes a remarkable phenomena where people who suffered through traumatic experiences earlier in life are in later years found to suffer from actue problems with their vision. It is as if their suppressed vision expresses their years of repressed emotion. Manifesting a desire to unsee all the horrors that they had witness. According to this, their blindness is an indicator of trauma left unprocessed or unprocessable. And so we return to the scene of Rivka and Isaac''s prayer. In keeping with an honest face-to-face, Rivka in this poem urges her husband to do the laborious work of processing his own trauma and rising above his unconscious fears of parenting. She invites him to confront his resistance to generating his Toldot, his future generations. Indeed, the opening & title of the parsha, “Toldot Yitzchak”, the Generations of Isaac, could thus be seen as a testimony to his successfully stepping up to the task of continuity and childrearing in the face of and despite his all-too-traumatizing childhood. Rivka''s Request You were broken like porcelain Dashed against a desert Shattered neath a father''s dagger and a flinty mirror streaked with tears dripped not blood but blindness into your grey hairs your pieces plastered back together hold me tender a fragile tendon - tiptoed to the next generation you, the quiet casualty of your father's spiritual ambitions perhaps you fear that G-d demand you do the same if you were to father your own ambitions - would you? Or would you rather -pray- pray for me here where you were born up and tornup on that unforgiving rock beneath an angels eye and ram's horn Fortuitously caught Would you pray a future to fill this vacant womb? Would you pray for continuity would you – continue? And tell me, husband dear, can you eye your own resistance and defy your very fears forgo the blindness that has plagued you and face your own descendants with a faith that here is holy and life is weighty and no more waiting for safety but rather brave the gaze of a world that is crazy beautiful and full of grace and shun the blade that bids you to accuse your father or mourn your mother or resent your God or blame anyone other than yourself for your own debilitating fears for the hand that you are dealt is but yours to commandeer so let''s move on to making our own glaring parenting mistakes to risking inflicting some untold & unending trauma onto our children and with a well-intentioned will sacred and sincere let us lift our prayers to God''s receiving ears With the knowledge that beyond old traumas and emotions on the mend there is meaning to the riddle of Moriah though our tongues are twisted and our eyes are dimmed Come, husband to this field and hunt down one good prayer For the fixing of your childhood is through fathering your children …if you dare.
(photo credit: The Jerusalem Post)