By DOUGLAS BLOOMFIELD
In this Hanukka season we are asked once again to believe that a single day's portion of oil miraculously kept the eternal flame burning in the reconsecrated Temple for eight days.
That's one of the more credible things we are asked to believe; here are some of the tougher ones. Feel free to submit your own.
Does anyone believe...
That if Barack Obama had stopped in Israel in June to speak to Israelis as he had to Muslims in Cairo, his standing in the Jewish state would be so low?
That Binyamin Netanyahu really wants to see a two-state solution that involves the return of most of the West Bank and a Palestinian capital in east Jerusalem?
That had Netanyahu announced the 100 percent
settlement freeze Palestinians demand, the PA
leader Mahmoud Abbas would praise the move and resume talks?
That had Netanyahu announced the total freeze he and his government would have survived the day?
That Netanyahu's government really will live up to his promises for a 10-month freeze and not keep making exceptions?
That settlements are the real obstacle to peace
and not just an excuse?
That there is anything Netanyahu can realistically do, short of cutting a deal with Syria, that would get Abbas to the negotiating table?
DOES ANYONE believe...
That the US Embassy in Israel will be
moved to Jerusalem before there is a peace
agreement with the Palestinians?
That peace with Palestinians would be possible without some kind of agreement on redividing Jerusalem?
That the Swedish proposal to recognize east Jerusalem as the capital of Palestine prior to any peace agreement - but nothing about west Jerusalem as Israel's capital - will win support in Israel for the European Union as an honest broker in peace talks?
That either side has leaders ready, willing and able to sign a peace agreement the other side will also sign?
That Israel can have peace with the Arabs and retain the West Bank and Golan Heights?
That the hundreds-for-one prisoner swap to bring home Gilad Schalit won't motivate more kidnappings?
Does anyone believe...
That Iran's nuclear program is purely peaceful? Or that US-imposed sanctions will make a whit of difference?
That we're so afraid of Cuba that we refuse to
talk to it but can't wait to sit down with Iran and North Korea?
Does anyone believe...
That if the Democrats offered legislation canonizing Ronald Reagan or renaming the state of Texas after George W. Bush, the Republicans would actually vote for it?
That if George W. Bush had proposed trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and the four other al-Qaida terrorists in New York City that any Republicans would have objected? Or that the Democrats would have said it was a good idea?
That Republicans would vote for any health bill Obama would sign?
That Sen. Joe Lieberman's opposition to the "public option" isn't motivated by his allegiance to his state's insurance industry?
That Sarah Palin is going to Iowa just to peddle books and has no presidential ambitions?
That Sen. Max Baucus recommended his girlfriend to be Montana's US attorney strictly because she is "highly qualified?"
That Sen. John McCain meant it when he said Sarah Palin was ready to take over the presidency on Day One?
That President Obama would be getting the Nobel Peace Prize if his predecessor weren't George W. Bush?
That the White House gatecrashers actually thought they were invited to the state dinner?
That Jews vote overwhelmingly Democratic because they don't understand what the Republican Party is all about, which is what groups like the Republican Jewish Coalition claim?
That Norman Podhoretz was correct in saying Republican positions on gay rights, abortion, school prayer, gun control and assisted suicide best reflect "Jewish values?"
Does anyone believe...
That Tiger Woods will get a husband-of-the-year award?
That Latkes and their oil won't also last in our stomachs for eight days?
May all your candles burn brightly and all your latkes and sufganiyot be calorie-free. And keep hoping for miracles.