Fulfilling his promise

Kshaun Bayhesain had promised his wife that when he returned from Gaza last summer, he would fix up their garden. Three young IDF orphans took it upon themselves to fulfill his promise.

By ZUR THON
(From left to right) Sagi Farhi, Lidor Fachima and Iddo Ben-David help the Bayhesain family fix up their garden. (photo credit: KOBY KOENKAS)
(From left to right) Sagi Farhi, Lidor Fachima and Iddo Ben-David help the Bayhesain family fix up their garden.
(photo credit: KOBY KOENKAS)
The Bayhesain family was about to leave for vacation in Tiberias when they received notice that Kshaun was needed on the battlefield.
An experienced and highly valued sergeant- major who had served as a scout for 25 years, he did not hesitate, even though it would have been possible to find a replacement. He hurried to report to the army alongside his friends. Several days later, on July 21, he was killed. His family remained alone with shattered dreams and empty hopes.
“My husband spoke about fixing up the garden as soon as he had a little time. Unfortunately he will no longer have that time,” said his widow, Galiato, who was left with four small children. One look at the dried-up garden outside their home in Netivot told the story. After she lost her husband, her living conditions changed, and the difficulties of everyday life haven’t allowed her to do what has now become a luxury.
So the IDF Widows and Orphans Organization decided to take on the project.
On a wintry morning, Sagi Farhi, Lidor Fahima and Iddo Ben-David – three IDF orphans under the age of 15 – came to the house determined and ready to take action. Joining them were IDFWO staff members and professionals who volunteered their services. The purpose was to establish a completely new, beautiful garden, including plants and decorations, all in one day.
Even those who usually wear tailored clothing were willing to roll up their sleeves and lend a hand, and the day quickly transformed from one of simply gardening into one of friendship and partnership.
“When they called me, I immediately thought that I wanted to do this – to give to others,” explained Farhi.
“I hadn’t ever had the opportunity to do anything similar in the past. It was the first time that I was even in Netivot.”
His father, Lior, a security officer for the community of Sha’arei Tikva, was run over and killed in a 2012 attack.
“Despite everything that the family went through, we succeeded in creating a positive feeling of something new here,” Farhi said of the garden project.
The teens and the adults worked shoulder to shoulder, against the clock. The Bayhesain children were running around, as the unusual noise and commotion caused a lot of excitement.
“They were happy not to go to school today,” said Galiato with a smile. The baby, Tal Or, sat in a playpen near the front door. Galiato was pregnant with her when the tragedy occurred; 10 days later, she gave birth.
Outside, the work was well under way, led by the Bayhesains’ young daughter Hayut. True to her name, which is Amharic for “life,” she is energetic, full of life and laughter, and charming. She enjoyed the attention and wondered when the television would come to take pictures. She was already prepared.
Afterward, in a moment of openness, Hayut spoke about her longing for her father.
“I remember his shy smile,” she said. “I saw that he really loved me and would take care of me. He would let us ride piggyback on the way to school, would buy us things without our asking for them.”
She asked me to go with her to the closet in her parents’ bedroom. Resting on one of the shelves were two new shirts with the tags still on. Hayut and her siblings purchased them for their father, with their own money, on the day that he was killed. One shirt was for going out, and the other one was for the running that he loved so much.
“We called him to tell him, and he didn’t answer.
The thought crossed my mind that something had happened to him, but I said to myself that it wasn’t possible. But then my mother told us that he wouldn’t come back anymore. Since then, the shirts have been in the closet.”
Slowly the garden began taking shape, as if it was dressing up in fancy clothing.
FAHIMA LOST his father, Meir, in a terrorist attack near Afula 13 years ago.
When he and the other IDFWO volunteers first arrived at the Bayhesain house, Fahima said the atmosphere was a little uncomfortable, until the volunteers and the family got used to each other.
“The family was shy at first, just as we were, but there was a lot of happiness in our hearts. These are new orphans, and I didn’t want to remind them of what happened. But then Eliniv, the oldest, asked me what happened to my father, and that broke the ice. This is the first time I’ve done a job like this, and it is really enjoyable to cooperate for such a purpose. I think we did something important, and we are also very satisfied with how it looks.”
Ben-David lost his father in 2006 during the Second Lebanon War, in a Katyusha rocket attack on Kibbutz Kfar Giladi.
“When we got here, I saw there was a lot to do,” he said of the Netivot project. “The garden had not been kept up and needed immediate attention. Galiato does not have time to take care of the garden... Now it will be a lot easier for them; almost everything is ready. The grass is already in place and just needs to be pressed down some more.
Everything else is all set. We even built a fence.”
Seeing the family, he said, reminded him of his own experience.
“Before we began working, I first looked at the children and Galiato standing together. Immediately I felt the feeling I had after my own loss, when we stood together with my mother... I saw how she hugged them, and it was very emotional for me. The little girl asked the three of us how our own fathers were killed. I didn’t expect a girl her age to ask such a question. When I was her age, it was terribly difficult for me. I was aggressive, and it opened up only a year or two afterward. Eliniv, the oldest, reminds me of myself.”
Ben-David praised them as “an amazing family. You see that Galiato does an excellent job. She says that it’s difficult for her, but she manages. I said that I know exactly what she’s talking about. It doesn’t become easier, though it maybe becomes clearer. It’s a very good feeling to know that you are helping someone who needs it. If I have the chance, I will go back there. I’d be glad to remain in contact with them.”
At the end of the exhausting day, the result was clear: Galiato, Eliniv, Hayut, Or Paz and Tal Or now had a garden of which they could be proud.
“Today I felt that my children are not alone,” said Galiato. “What happened here today is an important message for me, a message of unity. It is also the first time for them to meet other orphans. Up until today, they were familiar with it only from stories.”