Flipside: Like mother, like son

You'll get the hang of it, she said to her boy. Sure, he said.

By RUTHIE BLUM LEIBOWITZ
You'll get the hang of it, she said to her boy. Sure, he said. No, I mean it, she said. You're just trying to make me feel better, he said. What's wrong with that? she asked. You're my mother, that's what, he said. All the more reason to trust me, she said. Just the opposite, he said. Why is that? she asked. Because you're not objective, he said. I'm right nevertheless, she said. That's what you always say, he said. And it always proves true, she said. That's baloney, he said. On the contrary, she said. Give me an example, he said. When you thought you'd never be able to learn to read, she said. When was that? he asked. When you were going into first grade, she said. That doesn't count, he said. Why not? she asked. I was a little kid; This is different, he said. No, it's not. Anxiety has no age, she said. There you go again with your psychobabble, he said. No need to get nasty; I'm trying to help you, she said. It's not working, he said. That's because you're stubborn, she said. No, it's because I can't do this, he said. That's what you always say, she said. And it always proves true, he said. That's baloney, she said. On the contrary, he said. Give me an example, she said. Like when I didn't make it onto the soccer team, he said. When was that? she asked. When I was in seventh grade, he said. That doesn't count, she said. Why not? he asked. You were a little kid, she said. Failure has no age, he said. There you go again with your negativism, she said. No need to get nasty; I'm trying to prepare myself by being realistic, he said. It's not working, she said. That's because you're stubborn, he said. No, it's because I can't do this, she said. Can't do what? he asked. Help you, she said. You'll get the hang of it, he said. Sure, she said. No, I mean it, he said. You're just trying to make me feel better, she said. What's wrong with that? he asked. You're my son, that's what, she said. All the more reason to trust me, he said. Just the opposite, she said. Why is that? he asked. Because you're not objective, she said. I'm right nevertheless, he said. That's what you always say, she said. And it always proves true, he said. That's baloney; give me an example, she said. Like when you assured me I'd pass my driving test, he said. That doesn't count, she said. Why not? he asked. Because you didn't trust me then, either, she said. I passed, didn't I? he asked. That's exactly my point, she said. What is your point, exactly? he asked. That anxiety has no age, she said. There you go again with your psychobabble, he said. No need to get nasty; I'm merely showing you that you can do anything you set your mind to, she said. That's what you always say, he said. And it always proves true, she said. That's baloney; give me an example, he said. Like when you thought you wouldn't make it through basic training, she said. That doesn't count, he said. Why not? she asked. I was a kid out of high school. This is different, he said. No, it's not. You didn't trust me then, either, she said. That's because you couldn't possibly have understood, he said. Oh, really? she asked. No need to get huffy; I'm merely explaining why hearing it from you wasn't helpful, he said. Why wasn't it? she asked. Because you were just trying to make me feel better, he said. What's wrong with that? she asked. You're my mother, that's what, he said. All the more reason to trust me, she said. Just the opposite, he said. Why is that? she asked. Because you're not objective, he said. I'm right nevertheless, she said. That's what you always say, he said. And it always proves true, she said. That's baloney, he said. On the contrary, she said. Give me an example, he said. Like when you thought you wouldn't get in to law school, she said. That doesn't count, he said. Why not? she asked. I was told by reliable sources not to get my hopes up. This is different, he said. No, it's not. You're a lawyer now, aren't you? she asked. No thanks to you, he said. Oh, really? she asked. No need to get huffy. All I meant was that your trying to make me feel better had nothing to do with that, he said. That's exactly my point, she said. What is your point, exactly? he asked. That your abilities have always been intact, and still are, she said. Sure, he said. No, I mean it, she said. You're just trying to make me feel better, he said. What's wrong with that? she asked. You're my mother, that's what, he said. All the more reason to trust me, she said. Just the opposite, he said. Why is that? she asked. Because you're not objective, he said. I'm right nevertheless, she said. That's what you always say, he said. And it always proves true, she said. This is different, he said. How is it different? she asked. This time it really counts, he said. So? she asked. So, more is at stake if I fail, he said. That's your anxiety talking, she said. There you go again, he said. No need to get nasty; I'm just trying to help, she said. It's not working, he said. That's because you're stubborn, she said. No, it's because I can't do this, he said. You'll get the hang of it, she said. Sure, he said. No, I mean it, she said. You're just trying to make me feel better, he said. Making you feel better has nothing to do with it; you are going to make a wonderful father, she said to her boy. ruthie@jpost.com