To all of you passionate people, stop dreaming.

To all of you passionate people, stop dreaming.
If you have a dream hold on to it. Never stop dreaming, people say.
But somehow, somewhere along the way to reality the dream starts loosing its glam. The colorful picture wears down and the spark is exhausted. We start doubting it and ourselves, and all sorts of unthought-of details emerge and it's not the same anymore. What was I thinking? it's too complicated. The price is too high. And there's that other thing I always wanted to do... now that would have been perfect. If only I had invested this time and effort into that I would have been so happy by now. Maybe I should aim there, maybe I should give it a try. After all, this ain't working out like I thought anyway right? And so we begin our journey over a garden of possibilities, dreams as different as the countless flowers out there yet after a little taste of commitment and perseverance, all the same to the lazy bee.
If you're like me, there comes a time when you realize the inevitable. People stopped asking what you wanna do when you grow up and now they just want to know what you do. And of course you know the answer(s), there are plenty. Never mind they all involve winning the lottery or are a sheer fantasy that has taken over your otherwise promising aspirations.
"I'm starting this project, it's not official yet so I'll let you know when it takes off."
Anything but tell them you've been stuck with this project since high school and it's called "figure it out."
Rock bottom.
So I leave the dreaming for the nights. Stop the nonsense, gotta get my act together and stick to it. Make the phone calls, go places, act as if I know what I'm doing, go through the motions.
Sounds awful, I know. But all the successful people are doing it and it kinda feels good to belong to the flow of early raisers. So I think I can fake it.
I have no expectations from it, only from myself.
I go computer mode, but soon enough this machine of mine starts to look forward to it every day, morning-alarm-mini-heart-attacks and all, and the confidence in my voice is actually legit.
And without looking for it -- remember that first dream I told you about? well, I'm getting there. Only I'm enjoying the trip as well.
Sababa achi

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