How I turned Big Tony into a 'legitimate businessman'

Doctors use morphing software to show the stages a patient undergoing reconstructive or plastic surgery will pass through as they undergo treatment.

By DAVID SHAMAH
winmor888 (photo credit: )
winmor888
(photo credit: )
'Pssst. Hey buddy. Yeah, you over there." Who, me? "Yeah, you. Listen up. I got a scheme that's gonna make me and you rich. But I need your help." Wait a minute - I know you! You're that guy they call Big Tony (gulp!). "Good for you! I know who you are too. You're that computer guy, right? I read your stuff every week. Very funny. Well, I got a plan here to make us both rich using computers! You wanna be rich, dontcha?" Well, duh. "Good. Now listen up. I heard about this program called Winmorph. I hear it lets you take an image and morph it - i.e change stuff about it so that it becomes something else. That's what morphing is all about, right? So check out this plan: We scan in a nice, new crispy dollar bill. Then we morph it to become a hundred dollar bill. Then we print out all the morphed hundred dollar bills on a fancy color laser printer on some money type paper stock. Then we starting spreading the morphed hundreds all over town. That's a 10,000 percent markup on every bill!" (Pregnant pause while I consider my options. Unfortunately, running is not one of them, because Tony's goons have got the door covered, and Tony's "packing heat" - a .45, it looks like from here.) Gee, Big Tony, I gotta tell you. This sounds highly illegal. "Well, duh." No, no, you misunderstand me - I don't mean to cast aspersions on your chosen profession. But why go for small fry like hundred dollar bills! I figure a guy like you would want to maximize your productivity. Why use a morphing program to change the amounts on money when you can use it in so many more profitable ways? "Hmm. You mean like a legitimate business? Morphing for fun and profit? You intrigue me, young man. Let's hear it." (Noticing how Tony is fingering the pistol in his pocket and just how hot it was in this room, I begin bluffing.) Look, the power of morphing is showing people how what "is" can turn into what "could be." Doctors, for example, use morphing software to show the stages a patient undergoing reconstructive or plastic surgery will pass through as they undergo treatment. "We don't have no doctors in the family. Get to the point!" (That gun is going to come out of Tony's pocket any minute now.) No, that was just one example! Here's something right up your alley; real estate and construction. With Winmorph, you can show a gradual transformation of the current poor conditions to what the neighborhood could look like after it's been rehabilitated. You can have one or many transitional photos (you combine two photos at a time and string them together into a presentation), and turn the whole thing into an avi (video) file. (Hey! This is working! He took his hand off the gun!) Or let's say you wanted to get into advertising. The uses for morphing software are endless! You could use Winmorph to advertise a beauty salon or barbershop - showing clients how much better they will look with a new hairdo. Then there are the political uses - like before and after photos of places, people and politicians melded into one to make a point (like this one at http://tiira.cedunet.com/~sakke/temp/morph.wmv). Winmorph is even great for family get togethers, birthday parties, bar mitza videos - you can have a video of a literal transition of the honoree moving from one stage in life to the next! (Now it was Big Tony's turn to take a pregnant pause - a very pregnant one, as he was apparently trying to assimilate all the information I had given him.) "So you're saying we could use this program, for example, to show our business partners what could happen to them if they don't cooperate with us - like a photo of them with their nose in the right place, and a transition to a different state if they're late with their payments." (Oy, vey.) Well, actually... "I'm kidding, I'm kidding. I got the message. You're a good kid, trying to help us get into a different line of work. I will bring your ideas up at the next meeting of the board of directors and we'll see where we go with it. Meanwhile, I got another job for you; I want you to teach my kid, Anthony Jr., everything you know about computers. Make sure you do a good job; the kid's a little dense." (You mean he's even more dense than you? I didn't think that was possible!) Well, actually... "Don't worry - I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse." Download Winmorph for free from http://www.debugmode.com/winmorph. For Windows 98 systems or better. Ds@newzgeek.com