Netanyahu elected from prison cell

JROAST Purim Spoof: “I know where Bibi is all the time, and don’t have to worry about him flying around the world spending the taxpayers’ money.”

 (photo credit: Courtesy)
(photo credit: Courtesy)

Despite being convicted on four counts of bribery and sentenced to five years in prison, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu won a resounding victory Monday in the race for the 24th Knesset.
Following a media blitz from his cell featuring a series of TED talks given in his prison overalls, Netanyahu walked away (figuratively) with an astounding 45 mandates for the Likud as opposed to 25 for the Ayman Odeh-led Joint List, now the country’s second largest party following the implosion of Blue and White and Benny Gantz’s decision to leave politics for a career in motivational speaking.
Voters at exit polls around the country said they weren’t dissuaded from voting for a candidate currently serving time.
“It’s sort of comforting,” said Yitzhak Levy from Rosh Ha’ayin. “I know where Bibi is all the time, and don’t have to worry about him flying around the world spending the taxpayers’ money.”
Netanyahu has asked the Prison Services for special permission to host the weekly cabinet meeting, a request that was granted since prison officials already have a sizeable number of ministers’ data and fingerprints on hand. The meetings will cut into the time allotted to Netanyahu for conjugal visits with his wife, but the prime minister said it was a sacrifice that he was willing to make for the good of the country.
In response to the results, Odeh said that the country’s discrimination against its Arab citizens was on full display once again.
“I knew the only way to beat Bibi was to play him at his own game, but no matter what I did, the police and attorney-general refused to investigate me,” he said.
“What does a guy have to do to get arrested around here?”