‘...And when [Jacob] saw the wagons Joseph had sent to transport him, then the spirit of Jacob their father came back to life’ (Genesis 45:27)At the conclusion of last week’s portion it seemed as though the glorious family of Abraham – with its lofty mission of bringing the blessings of compassionate righteousness and moral justice to the world – was about to implode. Sibling jealousy, hatred and deception threatened to cause its dissolution even before the 12 sons of Jacob could begin to develop into the nation of Israel. Now, in our poignantly compelling portion of Vayigash, totally unexpectedly, the deceptions are unmasked and the dysfunctional personalities are transformed by repentance, forgiveness and love. What are the necessary steps leading to this remarkable familial reunion? The Bible opens with the egregious sin of Cain murdering his brother Abel, apparently due to jealousy. His weak defense, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” (Genesis 4:9) is answered affirmatively by the Bible in the example of Abraham, who wages a successful war against the four terrorist kings who capture his nephew Lot, and even argues valiantly against God not to destroy Sodom if there is a significant number of innocent people within the city. We are also given countless commandments which teach that we must all see ourselves as our brothers’ keepers, that we are all siblings under one God, and we must therefore love and protect each other.Abraham passes the baton of leadership to the son he bore with Sarah, and Rebekah persuades Isaac that in the next generation the prize of the firstborn as well as the material blessings must be granted to Jacob, the more deserving of the twins. It is now Jacob’s turn to choose the heir apparent to the Abrahamic legacy – and he is blessed with 12 sons.Joseph is beautiful in appearance, brilliantly precocious of mind, but at a tender age is already having dreams of personal grandeur and dominion over his brothers, hardly traits which would endear him to his siblings. He is also the obvious favorite of his father.When Jacob bestows upon Joseph the special tunic, symbol of tribal leadership, the brothers are overcome with jealousy, convinced that Joseph’s hankering after agricultural Egypt and cosmic adulation (his two dreams) disqualify him completely.Father Jacob seems to be unaware of the internal hatred created by his blatant favoritism and Joseph’s arrogance; he sends Joseph as his “agent” to look after the welfare of his brothers,” a fitting task for the leader of the tribe. The brothers, aware that Joseph sees them not as his beloved siblings whom he must protect, but rather as his lowly servants whom he is destined to dominate (they bow down to him in the dream), seek to kill him. The eldest and most respected brother, Judah, persuades them at least to derive benefit from Joseph by selling him as a slave; even though he reminds them that Joseph “is their brother, part of their very flesh.” Sadly, his suggestion defies that brotherly description. Judah continues to make light of the brotherly responsibility expressed by yibum when he refuses to give his youngest son Shelah in marriage to his dead brother’s wife Tamar (Gen. 28:11).Jacob spends more than two decades mourning for Joseph, his lost heir, and in suppressing his suspicions that his other sons were responsible for that loss. But when the brothers return with the report that Joseph is indeed alive and that he is that grand vizier, Jacob “looks at the wagons which Joseph had sent to transport him,” and he has an epiphany.Rashi explains that the last Torah subject Jacob and Joseph had studied together before Joseph’s disappearance was that of the “broken-necked heifer,” the sacrifice brought by the elders of the community when an unsolved murder had occurred (In Hebrew, agalah means wagon and eglah means heifer). The elders had to give such an offering because they had to take ministerial responsibility for the conditions of poverty and insufficient social services which generally lead to such crimes. I believe that Rashi (based on Midrash Genesis Raba 94:3) is saying that at that moment Jacob realized that he could no longer blame the brothers nor Joseph for his beloved son’s tragic disappearance; he, Jacob, the elder of his family community, had to forgive his children and accept responsibility for his having erred in his blatant favoritism.Judah, the son who must assume legal responsibility for the sale of Joseph and subsequent cover-up before Jacob, demonstrates that he has learned his lesson when he takes protective sibling responsibility for Benjamin (Rachel’s second son) and offers himself as a slave in Benjamin’s stead before the grand vizier (Gen. 45:33, 34). Even more, he demonstrates his ability to “recognize his brother” Joseph even under the Egyptian garb and Egyptian demeanor of the grand vizier.And Joseph has learned that the bearer of the Abrahamic legacy was not born to rule, but rather to serve God in His ultimate plan for this covenantal family. Even after his dreams have been realized, he forgives his brothers, explaining that it was God who brought him to Egypt in order to save the family from starvation in Canaan. Now that repentance and forgiveness have been expressed, the healing and rapprochement can begin.The writer is the founder and chancellor of Ohr Torah Stone Colleges and Graduate Programs and chief rabbi of Efrat.