As the chief psychologist tasked with debriefing Israeli hostages upon their release from Hamas captivity, and as someone who trains elite units of the IDF for the possibility of captivity, I’m often privy to a common fear: Many believe they would be “better off dead than taken hostage.”
It is an understandable view, especially given the horrors and abuse that those who have been released from captivity have endured.
And yet, there is one more striking fact that I can share: None of the hostages I personally debriefed suggested that they would have been better off being spared the hell of captivity by being killed before being taken hostage. What’s more, despite the scars they carry from the unimaginable horrors they endured, many told me something even more unexpected: They did not feel broken – they felt stronger because they survived.
The lessons we can draw from their remarkable resilience are enormous.
Now that all the hostages have been returned home, we as a nation are facing a decisive moment. The agony of the past two years has left deep scars. Some are visible, but many are not. The pain and longing for those we lost will never disappear. But as the final chapter of the hostage crisis comes to a close, one unavoidable question confronts us: What now?
This question is not only for the families who fought tirelessly to bring their loved ones home. It is equally crucial to the soldiers who fought on the frontlines, for their families, and for Israeli society as a whole.
From PTSD to PTG
The trauma we have endured as a nation is profound and will stay with us for decades. But if the experience of returning hostages teaches us anything, it is that trauma can also hold the potential for transformation.
This is the essence of Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG): Not merely recovering from trauma, but emerging transformed. PTG is not about returning to who we once were. It is about channelling the pain, both individual and collective, towards becoming stronger, more connected, and more unified. It can bring a deeper sense of self-efficacy, stronger relationships, a renewed appreciation for life, and even spiritual growth.
The National ‘What Now?’
For two years, Israeli society was united by a single, overriding mission: Bringing the hostages home. Communities mobilized. Families were embraced. Saturday nights were for rallies. Political and social divides narrowed in the face of a shared purpose.
During this period of active combat, much of our focus was also put on what I like to consider hardware: weapons systems, training, and operational readiness.
Now, as the intensity of combat subsides, we can allow ourselves to rebalance and invest more in our national software: the psychological, emotional, and social systems that allow the soldiers and societies to function, heal, and grow.
By shifting our attention to the reintegration of soldiers into family life, the workplace, and society at large, we have an opportunity to take part in the healing of our society.
The return to civilian life is not merely physical.
Psychological trauma, whether PTSD, depression, or moral injury, is widespread among those who fought, witnessed, or even just went about their lives in Israel over these last years.
Over three hundred thousand reservists were drafted during the war, leaving tens of thousands of soldiers with invisible post-traumatic wounds, in need of urgent mental health support.
The price tag and the responsibility do not end with the soldiers themselves. Their trauma reverberates through marriages, families, workplaces, and communities. Reintegration cannot be solitary. Healing must take place within communities to be truly impactful.
For those who served in combat or other high-stress positions (as I have seen as a facilitator with Path for Tomorrow – a nonprofit which takes groups of IDF reservists on healing retreats in nature), healing is often most effective when done together with their brothers and sisters in arms.
When properly supported, these soldiers can become sources of strength not only in their homes, but in their workplaces and communities as well.
The long road ahead
There is no timetable for healing.
Processing the trauma we have endured will take years, but it also holds the possibility of transformation, not just to bounce back, but to leap forward.
The question “What now?” must therefore become a call to action. We need legislation that expands benefits and protections for reservists. Employers must show greater sensitivity and flexibility as reservists reintegrate into the workforce, understanding that recovery is a process.
We must actively support nonprofits that provide group-based processing of combat experiences. At the same time, we must invest in training more mental health professionals to meet the scale of our trauma. Most importantly, we need to encourage those who carry a heavy emotional load to share their burden with friends, family, professional counselling, or support groups.
If we rise to this moment together, we can turn national trauma into national growth, emerging more resilient, more connected, and stronger than we ever imagined.
The writer served for over 30 years as an Air Force pilot, Mossad officer, special forces psychologist, and IDF hostage negotiator. Following October 7, he led the team of psychologists who met and debriefed the returning hostages. He also volunteers with Bshvil Hamachar (Path for Tomorrow), leading healing retreats for IDF veterans.