How not to get the coronavirus vaccine - comment

I called my health provider to make an appointment, and after having cleaned my apartment while waiting on hold, eventually hung up.

By DAVID BRINN
Updated: DECEMBER 18, 2020 14:27
A woman holds a small bottle labeled with a "Coronavirus COVID-19 Vaccine" sticker and a medical syringe, October 30, 2020. (photo credit: REUTERS/DADO RUVIC/FILE PHOTO)
A woman holds a small bottle labeled with a "Coronavirus COVID-19 Vaccine" sticker and a medical syringe, October 30, 2020.
(photo credit: REUTERS/DADO RUVIC/FILE PHOTO)
It arrived early Thursday evening in the inbox, amid a query for help from someone stranded in Botswana and a steady stream of stories for Friday’s paper from reporters.
It was the email that we’ve all been waiting and praying for over the last nine months. My health fund, Maccabi, was inviting me to make an appointment to receive the coronavirus vaccination.
It was one of the first times that being over 60 years old was finally paying off, as the email stated that only my select group and medical professionals were getting this early-bird notice. Just call the number and make your appointment and the long nightmare will be over.
How many times this year have we ended a conversation about going to a movie, eating out at a restaurant, visiting friends and family, or planning to travel abroad with the distant hope “once there’s a vaccine…”
That time is now, my friends. Although a considerable number of people have reservations about getting inoculated with a new vaccine that has been fast-tracked through the usually much longer testing and approval period, I am ready to return to ‘normalcy’ as quickly as possible.
So Friday morning, I called the special asterisked number to make my appointment and a recording answered with a voice welcoming me, followed by the health fund jingle on repeat.
I managed to dust the living room, empty the dishwasher and make a cup of coffee and the recording still droned on. After 20 minutes, I hung up, with the jingle forever etched in my inner lobes.
My desire to do the patriotic thing and get vaccinated was being tempered with the reality of our medical system and the likelihood that thousands of other 60 plus citizens were also getting their homes cleaned while waiting along with me.
Maybe there really is no vaccine. Perhaps the plan that the government and health system has devised is to keep us all tied up on the phone indefinitely so we don’t leave home, enabling the infection rate to drop without having to impose new restrictions. At  least our homes will be spotless.
Who knows? I’ll probably try to make that appointment again on Sunday. But first, I think I’ll watch Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Health Minister Yuli Edelstein get vaccinated on TV Saturday night. Then, as a precaution, I’ll wait a couple days to make sure they don’t grow second heads or begin speaking backwards.
Yes, the day we’ve been waiting for has arrived. It’s just going to take a little longer than expected. Keep your masks handy, continue to obey social distancing regulations, and  - a new development – pick up some ear plugs, because otherwise you’re going to hear that jingle on a loop in your sleep.