The joy associated with Tu Be’av stems from the empowerment of equality as a value.
By RONEN NEUWIRTHSocial closeness is the spiritual essence of Tu Be’av and the reason that it should be among the happiest days of the year.(photo credit: MARC ISRAEL SELLEM/THE JERUSALEM POST)
Tu Be’av is colloquially known as the Festival of Love. It was one of the two best days of the year, along with Yom Kippur.Rabban Shimon son of Gamliel said, “Israel did not have better days than the 15th of Av and Yom Kippur, when the maidens of Jerusalem would go out wearing borrowed white clothes, so as not to embarrass those who did not have them. And the maidens of Jerusalem would go out and dance in the vineyards. And what did they say? ‘Young man, look and observe well whom you are about to choose. Do not focus on the beauty, focus on the family’” (Mishnah Ta’anit, 4:8).What is Tu Be’av all about, and why is it compared with Yom Kippur? Our rabbis give six reasons for the special events that took place on the 15th of Av, among which were:“The day on which the tribes were allowed to intermarry.” When the Children of Israel came to the Land of Israel, inter-tribal marriage was forbidden to prevent land being passed on from one tribe to another in cases where daughters inherited from their fathers. This decree was abolished at the time of the Judges on the 15th of Av.“The day on which the tribe of Benjamin was allowed to return to the congregation.” After the terrible disaster known as pilegesh b’giva – the concubine on the hill – there was a war between the various tribes of Israel in which 70,000 men were killed. Benjamin was the tribe responsible for the conflict, and the elders of the congregation declared that women from no other tribe could marry its men. This decree was also revoked on the 15th of Av.“The day on which Hosea son of Ella dismissed the guards – appointed by Jeroboam son of Nebat to guard the roads and prevent the Israelites from making pilgrimages – and said that whoever wishes to make a pilgrimage may do so.” After the kingdom was split into Israel and Judea, King Jeroboam placed army guards on the roads to Judea to ensure that his subjects did not make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. King Hosea son of Ella abolished this law and permitted everyone to make pilgrimage to Jerusalem once more.THE JOY associated with Tu Be’av stems from the empowerment of equality as a value. As the Mishnah states, “The maidens of Jerusalem would go out wearing borrowed white clothes, so as not to embarrass those who did not have them.” On that day, the social strata were ignored. No one took pride in what she owned, and no one was ashamed of what she didn’t have. Even the elite daughters of society swapped their beautiful garments for plain borrowed clothes.This key event on Tu Be’av was held in the vineyards, with everyone mingling with one another, without condescension or alienation. It was a huge display of love, in which members of every social sector participated. That was also the reason behind the dance. It was performed in a circle, where no classes or strata can be discerned. Every point in the circle is equally far from the center, and thus Tu Be’av was in fact a Jewish celebration of social equality.Moreover, the decrees annulled on that day were associated with reconnecting the various parts of society to one another. Tribes were allowed to intermarry, Benjamin was allowed back into the congregation, and the Israelites were allowed to return to the unifying city of Jerusalem.“The built-up Jerusalem is like a city that is united together” (Psalm 122). Said Rabbi Yehoshua ben Levi, A city that makes all Israel friends” (Jerusalem Talmud, Hagigah 2:6).The Temple was destroyed on the ninth of Av because of baseless hatred, and in that sense, Tu Be’av, celebrated six days later, is the day of atonement and rebuilding, just like Yom Kippur. It is a day of ahavat hinam, unqualified and unconditional love, which is the very foundation for the rebuilding of the Temple. As Rav Kook says, “If we were destroyed, and the world with us, due to baseless hatred, then we shall rebuild ourselves, and the world with us, with baseless love – ahavat hinam (Orot HaKodesh vol. III, p. 324).We have been practicing social distancing for months because it has proven to be the most effective way to battle the COVID-19 pandemic. Yet the pandemic of sinat hinam (baseless hatred) from which we have been suffering for thousands of years should be battled with the exact opposite weapon: social closeness. By this I do not mean physical closeness, but rather emotional closeness, despite all of our disputes and disagreements. Social closeness is the spiritual essence of Tu Be’av and the reason that it should be among the happiest days of the year.Happy Festival of Love and Unity!The writer is the former rav of the Ohel Ari Congregation in Ra’anana and the author of The Narrow Halakhic Bridge: A Vision of Jewish Law in the Post-Modern Age, published in May 2020 by Urim Publications.
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