As you read these lines, you may have just received an alert on your phone. Another mysterious explosion in Iran, another dramatic statement from Trump, another red headline announcing an event that was supposed to shake the foundations. But instead of a racing pulse and rapid breathing, most of us will cast a quick glance, sigh quietly, and return to whatever routine we were in. The war, with all its horrors, has undergone a process of mental normalization. It has become something closer to a weather forecast than to a life-shaking event.
This phenomenon is called the normalization of anxiety. It is a state in which the unimaginable becomes routine, and the extreme becomes the regular standard. When we hear about the possibility of a dramatic attack in Iran in the same tone in which we hear about localized rain in the north, we are deep inside a psychological defense mechanism. The question is whether this reflects psychological resilience, or whether we are developing emotional numbness that will exact a price from us the day after.
The brain in the service of survival
From an evolutionary perspective, the human brain was not designed to live under extreme stress for long periods of time. Our internal alarm system, the amygdala, is meant to warn us of immediate danger and enable us to flee or fight. But when the danger is there every day, all day, the system simply wears out. To prevent a collapse of the nervous system, the brain performs a kind of habituation to the situation. It learns to filter out the noise in order to allow us to continue functioning in daily life.
In this sense, normalization is an effective survival tool. Without it, we might be paralyzed by fear. It allows us to go to the mall or to a concert even when there is background noise. But every defense has a cost, and in this case, the cost is disconnection and emotional constriction.
The problem with defense mechanisms is that they are not very specific. When we build emotional walls in order not to feel fear, those walls also block other emotions. The emotional numbness that allows us to read about mysterious explosions in Iran and continue drinking coffee is the same numbness that seeps into relationships with partners, into our connection with our children, and into the patience we have with others.
When a person lives in a certain state of disconnection, they lose their sense of vitality. Life becomes more of a technical task that needs to be carried out, rather than an experience that is felt. We become more like robots of ongoing daily functioning. It is possible that Israeli society as a whole, collectively, is currently in a collective version of this state. That is, the threshold for negative stimulation has risen so high that nothing really shocks us anymore, especially after October 7. And accordingly, very few things truly manage to make us happy or touch us.
The repression of the situation and the price we will pay
Is this really repression? The answer is most likely yes. Mental health professionals know that an emotion that is not processed does not disappear; it is simply stored in a back warehouse and accumulates interest. The current normalization of the situation is a kind of emotional debt that we are taking out at the expense of our future. When calm returns, and at some point it will return, the emotional system will no longer need these defensive walls. At that moment, all the fears and tensions that we repressed in order to continue as usual may emotionally overwhelm us in the form of depression or anxiety.
As a society, we are also paying a price in the form of indifference and the erosion of empathy. And in general, when suffering becomes statistics and war becomes weather, we lose the ability to be shaken by the suffering of others. Indifference becomes psychological armor, but this armor is heavy and it has a cost.
Normalization is indeed the defense mechanism that allows us to breathe within the reality of life in our country, but we must be careful not to turn it into a way of life. We need to allow ourselves to feel, to be connected, even to pain and fear. This is so that we do not wake up the day after and discover that we have forgotten how to be human beings who feel and experience life.
Itamar Pascal is a clinical psychologist specializing in the treatment of depression and anxiety.