'Make my shiva a week of family, friends,' fallen IDF soldier asks in will

"He freed us from many doubts. He left with a full heart, out of great love," said Sarit Zussman, the soldier's mother.

 Family and friends of First Class (res.) Ben Zussman mourn at his funeral at the Mount Herzl Military Cemetery in Jerusalem on December 4, 2023, he was killed during a ground operation in the Gaza Strip. (photo credit: ARIE LIEB ABRAMS/FLASH90)
Family and friends of First Class (res.) Ben Zussman mourn at his funeral at the Mount Herzl Military Cemetery in Jerusalem on December 4, 2023, he was killed during a ground operation in the Gaza Strip.
(photo credit: ARIE LIEB ABRAMS/FLASH90)

IDF Sgt.-Maj. (res.) Ben Zussman, who fell in battle in the Gaza Strip last week, asked his family to turn the shiva mourning period for him into "a week of friends, family and fun," in a letter he wrote before leaving for base in case he fell in battle, KAN news reported on Monday.

"I'm writing you this message on the way to the base. If you're reading this, something must have happened to me. As you know about me, there's probably no one happier than me right now. It's not just that I was really happy for the realization of my dream soon. I'm happy and grateful for the privilege to protect our beautiful land and the people of Israel," he wrote.

"Even if something happens to me, I'm not permitting you to sink into sadness. I had the benefit to fulfill my dream and my purpose and you can be sure that I'm watching you and smiling a huge smile. I will probably sit next to grandpa and bridge some gaps, each of us will talk about our experiences and what changed from war to war. Maybe we'll also talk a little politics, [I'll] ask him what he thinks," Zussman wrote.

"If, god forbid, you sit shiva, make it a week of friends, family and fun. There should be food, meat of course, beers, sweet drinks, seeds, tea, and of course mother's cookies. Make jokes, tell stories, meet all my other friends you haven't met yet. Wow? Jealous of you. I'd like to sit there and see them all."

Zussman added in his letter that if he was taken captive, he did not want his family to campaign for his release or for any deal to be signed for his release. "I'm not prepared for terrorists to be released in exchange for me in any way, shape, or form. Please don't violate this."

 Family and friends of First Class (res.) Ben Zussman mourn at his funeral at the Mount Herzl Military Cemetery in Jerusalem on December 4, 2023, he was killed during a ground operation in the Gaza Strip.  (credit: ARIE LEIB ABRAMS/FLASH 90)
Family and friends of First Class (res.) Ben Zussman mourn at his funeral at the Mount Herzl Military Cemetery in Jerusalem on December 4, 2023, he was killed during a ground operation in the Gaza Strip. (credit: ARIE LEIB ABRAMS/FLASH 90)

"I'll say it again: I left the house without even being called to the reserves," he said. "I'm full of pride and a sense of mission and I've always said that if I have to die, I hope it will be in defense of others and the country. Jerusalem, I have entrusted guards; one day I'll be one of them."

'He freed us from many doubts'

Sarit Zussman, the soldier's mother, told KAN on Monday morning that the family received the letter two days after Ben fell in battle.

"He freed us from many doubts," she said. "He left with a full heart, out of great love. He strengthened us and asked us to be happy. There is something liberating in this clarity that allows you to breathe."

"We had the opportunity to meet all his sweet friends, the ones we didn't get to meet and only heard stories about," his bereaved mother said.

"When we went up to the grave at the end of the seven days, his friends put a shirt with his picture on it, a few cigarettes next to the grave, Hapoel Jerusalem stickers and bottles of beer. When we finished the ceremony I opened one bottle. We all said 'cheers' and the bottle was passed between us all.

"We will be sad forever," she lamented, "but we will try to enjoy the pleasures of the little things in life."