“Usually, we ask whether there will be rain on Purim, but this year we’re asking if there will be ballistic missiles,” said Eretz Nehederet host Eyal Kitzis on the Wednesday night broadcast of the Israeli comedy show on Keshet 12.
It was another week where the writers had to figure out how to make fun of the standoff between the US and Iran.
The producers decided to bring back US President Donald Trump (Omer Etzion) and depicted Channel 12’s Washington correspondent Barak Ravid, getting a call from him in the middle of his State of the Union address, which took place the night before.
Trump had actually spoken to Ravid by phone earlier this week, and on Eretz Nehederet, the president was friendly to the reporter, saying, “Now where was I? Giving a speech,” and then went into one of his stream-of-consciousness rants about singer Nicki Minaj’s fingernails.
Kitzis said that since, in the midst of the longest State of the Union address in US history, Trump had time to talk about Minaj’s nails, he ought to have time to answer a few questions about the Iranian situation.
After Kitzis mentioned the military buildup in the area, Trump responded warmly, saying, “Yes, my beautiful armada. Great armada. Ya gotta love armada. It’s armada-f***er, man.”
'I’m going to tell Khamenei, no more games'
Asked how the armada would help pressure Iran’s Supreme Leader, Ali Khamenei, to sign an agreement, Trump answered, “I’m going to tell Khamenei, no more games, your time is up. It’s the final deadline. Hit it, JD.”
US Vice President JD Vance, who was sitting behind him, took out a keyboard and played, “The Final Countdown.” Trump sang along, but changed the words slightly, singing, “It’s the final deadline.”
Khamenei (Yaniv Biton) answered, complaining that Kitzis had asked how he was doing in his bunker, which he found demeaning. The Iranian leader went on to say the agreement was close to being signed.
“There are just some small gaps… They want us to give up our weapons; we want to take them apart with our weapons,” he said.
“We want a reactor for peaceful purposes. We want atomic bombs for peace. And ballistic missiles with nuclear warheads… for peaceful purposes.” Asked what kind of peace that would be, he responded, “Peace on Israel.”
Trump interrupted to say, “Mr. Khamenei, you have to sign the deal. Say the magic word. I’m giving you 48 hours.”
After some more bars of “The Final Countdown,” he continued, “So what do you say?” Khamenei responded with a simple, “No.” Trump shot back, “You made me do it. If you won’t sign in the next 48 hours, I will … give you one more week!” Khamenei answered in the negative again.
Trump answered, “You asked for it! If you won’t sign in one week, I have no choice but to give you another month!” Khamenei asked the president to send him “The Final Countdown” on a disk.
Khamenei went on to complain about having to hide underground and play with a stuffed monkey doll. “After they took away the Houthis and Hezbollah, this is all that I have left,” he said, adding, “It’s like kissing my mother, but it has less fur than she does.”
He then brought out one of his sons, who is also in hiding, and they did a podcast. Khamenei berated his son for being too apologetic, saying, “I killed 30,000 protesters and didn’t even say ‘Oops.’”
Asking his son what he was planning to do once they could live aboveground again, the son said he was thinking of going into marketing.
Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (Mariano Edelman) arrived, but he didn’t have any answers either. Instead, he brought his wife, Sara (Alma Zack), and Prime Minister Narendra Modi, who is visiting Israel, on stage.
Modi wanted to leave ahead of the Iranian attack, but he was presented with a letter that he read aloud, which turned out to be the text of a 25-year-old McDonald’s commercial about walking on hot coals, an ad that was criticized as ethnic stereotyping.
The comedy show pivoted to other events from this week, including how journalist Lucy Aharish (Shani Cohen) and her husband, actor Tsahi Halevi (Eli Finish), were harassed by a right-wing protester who does not like the idea of mixed Arab-Jewish couples and is against everything the opinionated Aharish has to say that is critical of the government.
National Security Minister Itamar Ben Gvir (Orel Tsabari) joined in to berate her, saying if she didn’t stop speaking Arabic, she would end up at Abu Kabir Forensic Institute, i.e. that she would be killed.
As the theme music played from Fauda, one of the shows he appeared in, Halevi stepped up to her defense, pointing out to Ben Gvir that he is an elite undercover army unit, unlike Ben Gvir and his buddies.
Aharish extolled her husband’s many virtues, saying that every woman would envy her, except the one who married Halevi’s Fauda costar, Idan Amedi.
Other segments included one in which Israel’s champion kickboxer, Ahavat Hashem Gordon, who defeated a boastful Turkish opponent in a competition this week, came onstage and fought Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan (Eli Finish).
At the end, Kitzis said the show would be back with a Purim show in a week, “If it’s Trump’s will,” but that we still have a wonderful country.