Ghosted by your date? Here's what not to do

Ilanit Koren, a therapist and coach specializing in successful dating and finding healthy love, explains how you should respond when your date is late.

IF YOUR date isn’t calling, here's what you should do. (photo credit: JSELIGER2/FLICKR)
IF YOUR date isn’t calling, here's what you should do.
(photo credit: JSELIGER2/FLICKR)

Imagine you've met someone through Tinder, school, work, a bar, or even on the street, and after exchanging phone numbers, you spoke for a while and agreed to meet for a date later in the week, maybe on Thursday.

Suddenly, throughout the week leading up to your date, you don't receive any communication from him—no calls, no messages, nothing. Then, on Thursday, he seemingly suddenly remembers you exist and shows signs of life.

Ilanit Koren, a therapist and coach specializing in successful dating and finding healthy love, explains how you should respond. 

To do and not to do

If he calls on Thursday at noon, go ahead and schedule the date as planned. It indicates that he may not be fully invested in you yet, and you're not a couple at this stage. However, you can go with the flow and proceed with the plan as it's still early.

 A couple on a date. (credit: PIXABAY)
A couple on a date. (credit: PIXABAY)

However, now let's say that you arranged to go on a date on Thursday evening, but he only contacts you at 6:00 pm on Thursday after days of silence.

While it's nice that he remembered, it's quite last minute and lacks respect. You deserve to prioritize your time and value yourself. Tell him you appreciate his call but inform him you have already made plans. At the same time, express your willingness to reschedule for another day.

Finally, if you don't hear from him all of Thursday, well into the evening, and then he sends you a simple message "Hi," or "How are you," at a late hour, it's important not to go along with it.

Whether he's suggesting that you meet at your place, his place, or even under the building, the answer should always be a resounding "No!"

This kind of behavior is disrespectful and implies a lack of consideration for your feelings, says Koren, adding that she recommends not responding immediately and instead reaching out to him the next day, saying, "I noticed you were trying to contact me. I'd love to schedule something at a later date."