According to Jewish tradition, babies in the womb have all the knowledge and wisdom of the world, but once they emerge the memory of all they knew disappears. But perhaps some of the characteristics that were developed in the womb remain.
The Hebrew word for “womb” is rechem, which is also the root word for rachmunut, which means “mercy” or “compassion.”
For as long as I can remember, I have always had compassion for the other side and have tried to understand what motivates them and why. Understanding what motivates the other side does not mean that perpetrators of atrocities should be excused or forgiven.
What it means is that if we don’t look at a situation through their eyes or, more importantly, through the eyes of those who follow them, we can never resolve our differences. We will continue to savage each other verbally and physically because neither side is willing to listen to the other and to look at any situation from the other’s perspective.
The current war between Israel and Hamas is an example. As evil as Hamas is, I do not believe that its genocidal tendencies are representative of all the people in Gaza or of Palestinians in general. It truly pains me to see how many innocent civilians – especially children – are victims of the conflict.
Of course, it’s easy to blame Hamas. If Hamas had not conducted a massacre in Israel on October 7, there would still be low-key conflict, but most of the deaths on both sides could have been avoided.
Some Israelis who no longer believe in “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” will never accept the fact that there are innocent Gazans.
Just as Hamas wants to destroy Israel, these particular Israelis want to destroy Gaza, despite Israel’s official policy of wanting to save Gaza by destroying Hamas.
Why we need a devil's advocate on both sides of the war
While there are extremists on both sides, the poison of hatred, which is the worst of all social diseases, will spread. It starts with a small flame of mutual insults and grows into an inferno of absolute loathing.
In the spirit of “what you give is what you get,” that loathing can evolve into armed conflict; or when it’s just between two people, one of them can get so angry that he strikes the other with a fatal blow. And over what?
Being overtaken on a highway; space to park the car; rooting for the non-local team at a football match; or queue jumping at a movie theater. All these incidents and more have led to senseless and needless deaths, which could have been avoided if hotheads had only stopped for a moment to cool off.
The victim’s family and friends will not be interested in the fact that death was the outcome of an argument in which the victim may have been the one who was initially in the wrong, or that the perpetrator may have acted in self-defense. All they want is for the perpetrator to receive a heavy prison sentence.
Up until October 7, it was worse in Israel’s Arab community, where there were killings on an almost daily basis throughout 2023, with more than 220 dead by the beginning of December.
I can understand what motivated all of the above, and I can also understand the pain and frustrations of families of the hostages who were taken to Gaza.
At the same time, I can also understand the foot-dragging by Israel’s war cabinet in taking action to bring all the hostages home. Many young soldiers have already fallen in this war, and more will fall as the war continues. Israel does not want to send soldiers to certain death, which could be the case in a rescue operation. Unless it is very carefully planned and skillfully carried out, it could also imperil the lives of the hostages. Is that a risk that the families want to take? And if they do and it results in a worst-case scenario, the families will blame the army for a botched operation, overlooking the fact that they are the ones who are insisting that the army go ahead.
When they complain that they are not given any information by officials who meet with them, they fail to understand that imparting any information is dangerous, especially in a highly fraught emotional situation.
Former prime minister Ehud Barak, who was a highly decorated soldier in the IDF, recognized the importance of understanding the other side and came under sharp criticism, even from the Left, when he said: “If I were a Palestinian of the right age, I would at a certain stage have joined one of the terrorist organizations.”
In truth, there was nothing radical in that. It was simply an awareness that with certain exceptions, we are all the products of our environment and its myths which are perpetuated from generation to generation.
When the Palestinians accuse the Jews of stealing their country, they display an ignorance of history. There never was a sovereign state of Palestine. There were Arabs living in a place called Palestine, but it was ruled by foreign entities. If Palestinian Arabs understood this and accepted it, there might be room for the resumption of peace negotiations.
What we are lacking is historical truth. Both sides live on the myths created by previous generations. Neither side really bothers to explore them out of a subconscious fear of what they may learn.
That is where the devil’s advocate should step up to the plate. Then again, who will listen? ■