Love stories have undoubtedly changed since the advent of dating apps, resulting in the darling meet-cute stories becoming at risk of extinction.
Still, romance seems to persevere in the Jewish state, as one couple explained to the Magazine how a game of backgammon in a dingy bar is leading them to make a lifetime commitment.
Tzvi-Bar proposed to Lexi in August, following eight long years of snatching brief moments together across the globe.
The self-proclaimed “nerd” knew from the moment he met Lexi that she would be his wife, and like everything else in the medical student’s life, he approached that certainty with total commitment, doing whatever it took to turn it into reality.
“If you want to do something, you can achieve anything. You just have to work hard for it,” Tzvi-Bar explained.
Lexi made aliyah from New York after spending some additional time in Israel following the completion of her Birthright-Taglit trip.
Enjoying the vibrant nightlife Tel Aviv has to offer on White Night, she tagged along to a bar with a group of friends, accompanied by the soldier who had joined her on the program.
Among the group was Tzvi-Bar, ready and waiting to teach the then-18-year-old how to play backgammon – whether she wanted to learn or not.
“It wasn’t like love at first sight... I mean, he was… super nerdy. He was trying to teach me backgammon. I was, like, drunk at 4 a.m.,” Lexi admitted, while describing how Tzvi-Bar “manifested” their inevitable love story.
With only a month left of her trip, she received a text from Tzvi-Bar, who had gotten her number from a mutual friend.
Couple discovers adventurous side
While their first date was normal – a trip to the shuk, a nice dinner, and some karaoke – the pair quickly discovered they each had an adventurous side.
Within a few dates, Lexi found herself skydiving near Haifa with a man she barely knew, and it was then she realized, “We were on the same page with adventure and trying new things.”
Early into the relationship, Tzvi-Bar told Lexi, “You’re my future wife,” despite knowing she would soon return to the US to start her degree studies at Ithaca College.
Still young, Lexi thought his confidence was “super weird and crazy,” but he proved his dedication with more than just words.
Only a month after Lexi returned to the US, Tzvi-Bar followed. He made the 12-hour journey under the guise of helping his friend move to start studying at Yale but spent most of his days enjoying Lexi’s company.
“I think he was really persistent and determined and saw something in me in the beginning. And now, of course, it’s been eight years, and I really love him,” Lexi said.
Taking turns visiting each other, the pair agreed that whoever finished their studies first would move to be with the other. Tzvi-Bar’s army service meant that Lexi was the one to move, and she happily relocated to Beersheba.
While Tzvi-Bar was the pull she needed to move to Israel, Lexi had dreamed of making aliyah for many years. At only 15, during a brief Gadna course (simulated IDF basic training), she was voted “most likely to make aliyah.”
After years apart, the pair thought they would finally settle together in the heart of southern Israel, but then Tzvi-Bar was accepted to medical school in Poland.
Goal-oriented, Tzvi-Bar knew that in order to provide a good life for his future family and fulfill his dream, he had to accept the spot, but Lexi had already moved across oceans and wasn’t eager to uproot herself again.
The pair were separated once more, though switching places, with Tzvi-Bar residing in the Diaspora. “We really struggled. That was a rough patch in the relationship,” Lexi admitted.
“It was a hard thing because as you get into medical school, that’s a big, exciting thing that’s happening, but there was a duality of ‘I’m happy for you, and I want you to live your dreams. But on the other hand, I just got here, I’m trying really hard to learn a new language, to immerse [myself] in a new culture, and I don’t want to start again,’” he said.
Lexi spent her days working as a pole dancing instructor, acting in English commercials, and performing with the Light Opera Group of the Negev (LOGON), integrating into the country and building a strong group of friends.
For two years, the pair would fly to see each other every chance they got, and now, finally, Tzvi-Bar can finish up his clinical rotation at a hospital in Israel.
Knowing he didn’t want to part from her again, he popped the question in August, planning an elaborate engagement to show his love.
The epitome of “If he wanted to, he would,” Tzvi-Bar told Lexi to get dressed up and get her nails done for a family photo before his sister enlisted in the army and for an anniversary party for his mother and her now ex-wife.
Dolled up and ready for a festive event, Lexi was confused to find herself ushered off the bus to Jaffe early by Tzvi-Bar’s sister. With a sunset making Lexi’s red dress look even brighter, his sister insisted on a photo shoot.
When they arrived at the rooftop of The Arab-Jewish Community Center, Lexi was met with a red carpet extending from the elevator to the center of the room, where Tzvi-Bar was waiting on one knee with a ring.
“He was on his knees with the ring, smiling, and there was a sign, ‘Lexi, marry me,’ with no question mark, just ‘Lexi, marry me,’” she recounted. “It was really cute. He didn’t walk up to me or take me, I had to get to him while crying…he never moved. He was like a statue.
“He invited two friends each. So there were four people and his sister. It was really, really cute… and during sunset.”
Asked how she knew Tzvi-Bar was a person worth making the move for and then waiting for in a new country, Lexi described how he made her feel and how he demonstrated his commitment through action.
“I would describe him as super normal,” Lexi said, despite her early impression of him.
“I found someone very grounded, who knows what he wants to do with his life. He’s going to be a doctor, and he’s very passionate about it… He’s on a week and a half break in Israel, and he already spent one day in Jerusalem doing a Magen David Adom ambulance shift.”
Lexi explained that it was his genuine acts of kindness she had witnessed – like how he helped fix her elderly neighbor’s outlets to make them safe – that showed her he had the soul of someone she could trust.
Asked how she knew Tzvi-Bar was the real deal and not just another charming Israeli man, known colloquially as a “Tomer,” Lexi said she might have felt differently had he been one of the soldiers on her Taglit trip, noting the reputation of such men.
Tzvi-Bar also “never had a party phase,” indicating to her that he had more genuine intentions.
“I think everyone has to make their own judgment,” she asserted.
“Like, is this person serious? Is this like a lifelong commitment type of thing, or is it a fling? I wouldn’t move whole countries for something that’s not for sure. Like, is this the father of my children, you know?
“I feel that I found a gem. People in our day and age, people like him, are either friendzoned or not appreciated because they’re [in] the nerd community…
“I think the lesson is: We need to appreciate the nerds more. You have to find them because they’re really hard to find, and they’re really, really special,” Lexi advised.