In days of ongoing security tension, when we all live between alerts and news flashes, between high alert and a fragile routine, a simple, empathetic human conversation can be someone else’s moment of light.
Sometimes, what people need isn’t a solution but just someone to really see them, care enough to ask, and stay even after the conversation ends.
In times like these, and during extended states of emergency, our lives shift by 360 degrees. We must learn to function in an emergency reality. A simple question about someone else’s well-being can create a meaningful, comforting, and supportive space – one that’s more important than ever in such an unusual reality.
The question is: How can I even find the headspace to care about someone else?
That’s exactly where the magic of genuine interest in others comes in: By shifting our focus outward, even momentarily, we get a break from our own troubles. Thinking of the person in front of us can empower us, too, in indirect yet powerful ways.
So, how do you show that you truly care?
This is where R U OK?, a social initiative by Enosh, comes in. It’s a reminder to pause and genuinely check in on the people around us. That simple act might help someone get through a rough patch, navigate a crisis, or – in extreme cases – even prevent suicide.
We often sense when someone close to us is going through something, yet still say nothing.
A survey conducted by Enosh revealed that one in four people struggles to start such conversations, even when it’s clear something is wrong. Why? Fear of invading privacy, lack of confidence, or simply not knowing what to say.
With just four simple steps, anyone can start a sensitive, safe, and meaningful conversation.
Step 1: Ask if they’re okay
Make sure you’re in a good headspace to talk – open, nonjudgmental, and truly available – and that the time and place are comfortable for both of you.
Begin with simple questions like “How are you doing?” or “How have you been feeling lately?” and refer to noticeable changes that concern you: “You seem really tired,” or “I noticed you haven’t been coming to meetings.”
Even if the person isn’t ready to talk – just asking shows you care, and that already means a lot.
Step 2: Listen
No judgment. No rushing to offer solutions.
Even if what they share seems small to you – it might be huge for them.
Give space for emotions and even for silences. Encourage them to open up by asking: “How are you feeling about that?” or “How long has this been going on?”
Step 3: Encourage action
Suggest small steps – talking about it, going for a walk, or revisiting things that helped in the past.
If professional help might be needed, gently suggest it: “Have you thought about talking to someone?” or “Want me to help you find someone to reach out to?”
Step 4: Stay in touch
Keep checking in, even after the first conversation. Follow-ups like “How have you been since we last talked?” can make a big difference.
Even if they haven’t taken action, just knowing someone genuinely cares can be a powerful anchor.
In today’s complex reality, a small conversation can create big change.
Let’s pause, ask, and truly care about the people around us. Not only can we help them – we might even save a life. Because sometimes, all a person really needs is for someone to see them.
If you see them – don’t look away.
Ask. Listen. Stay.
The writer, a social worker, is director of the Eastern Galilee region at Enosh, the Israeli Mental Health Association, and a facilitator of R U OK? workshops.