Psychotherapist explains: Why are there more sex addicts after October 7?

The events of October 7 and the war that broke out in their wake left Israeli society with bereavement, loss, and deep pain. Alongside the visible and widely discussed consequences, another phenomenon is occurring in relative silence: An increase in the use of substances and addictive behaviors, mainly as a means of emotional regulation and coping with psychological distress.

Research and clinical experience point to a direct link between exposure to trauma, anxiety, and depression and the worsening of compulsive behaviors – even among people who did not experience direct physical harm. At the same time, an increase was recorded in the use of calming substances, including prescription medications, alcohol, and cigarettes. Within this continuum are also compulsive sexual behaviors and the use of pornography, as a response to deep emotional distress.

In its broad definition, addiction is a persistent pattern in which a person compulsively uses a substance or a particular behavior in order to cope with overwhelming or unpleasant emotions. Usually, this involves difficulty identifying, tolerating, processing, or regulating emotions such as fear, loneliness, shame, anger, or helplessness.

The addictive behavior provides temporary relief – calming, dissociation, or a sense of control – but over time it reinforces dysregulation, impairs the ability to choose and control, and leads to distress and functional impairment across different areas of life.

The term “sex addiction” describes a broad spectrum of compulsive sexual behaviors and is included in the group of behavioral addictions. These may include recurrent fantasies, intrusive thoughts, and actions such as intensive pornography viewing, compulsive masturbation, casual sex, or paid sex.

Any activity that creates high arousal can become addictive, because it causes chemical changes in the brain similar to those caused by drugs or alcohol. At this stage, sexual behavior enters a cycle of thoughts, emotions, and actions, with damage to the sense of control. At times, the addiction reflects difficulty in forming emotional and intimate relationships, when intensive sexual preoccupation replaces close and secure human connection.

It is important to clarify: Not every person coping with sex addiction is a sexual offender. In fact, most people with sex addiction do not harm others.

Sex addiction stems from difficulty in emotional regulation and impulse control, and the behaviors – even if repetitive and compulsive – are not aimed at harming others. In contrast, sexual offending is characterized by sexual behavior that harms another person, crosses boundaries, or is carried out without consent, and often includes planning, exploitation of power, and control. These are two fundamentally different patterns, both clinically and morally.

Research estimates worldwide indicate that about 3%–5% of the general population may meet criteria for sex addiction, with some studies pointing to prevalence of up to about 10%.

In Israel, population surveys estimate that about 6%–7% of adults report problematic patterns of sexual behavior or pornography use. However, only a minority actually seek treatment. The gap is explained by a combination of stigma, shame, religious-cultural sensitivity, and lack of access to dedicated services. It should be noted that the data are mostly based on self-report rather than a full clinical diagnosis.

Sex addiction, like other behavioral addictions (gambling, shopping, computer games, or compulsive internet use), expresses a deep difficulty in emotional regulation and impulse control – and therefore can be understood and treated.

Treatment begins with a comprehensive assessment, aimed at understanding the behavior pattern and its emotional role. In the first stage, a cognitive understanding of the disorder is developed, normalization of the experience, and differentiation between healthy sexuality and a compulsive pattern as a response to psychological distress.

Alongside individual therapy, group therapy, couples therapy, and sometimes pharmacological treatment are also integrated. The duration of the process varies according to the severity of the pattern and requires patience, persistence, and a beneficial therapeutic relationship.

Alon came to therapy about two years ago due to an ongoing difficulty controlling sexual impulses, which included frequent use of sex services and intensive pornography viewing. He experienced deep shame, helplessness, and frustration from repeated failures to stop the behavior, alongside damage to his relationships – in the family, at work, and in his social circle.

During therapy, the connection was revealed between his emotional distress – loneliness, depression, anxiety, trauma, and low self-worth – and turning to compulsive sexual behavior as a way of momentary relief. Alon gradually strengthened his ability for self-regulation through building a stable routine, strengthening social support, and using calming and grounding techniques. Later, he joined SAA groups, worked on awareness of thinking patterns, and found beneficial alternatives such as physical activity and writing.

The work also included processing early traumas, exploring fantasies and impulses, and developing intimacy skills. Along the way, a sense of control, hope, and the ability to cope with difficult emotions without turning to compulsive behavior were rebuilt.

Not every addiction treatment requires hospitalization or disconnection from routine. Often, treatment can be provided within the community, with the accompaniment of a multidisciplinary team, while maintaining employment, family life, and daily routine.

This is the approach taken at the addiction clinics of Leumit Health Services: Personalized treatment, integration of diverse therapeutic approaches, and a comprehensive process that also relates to the family. The central message is clear – there is something to be done, and it is not a shame to ask for help. Today it is simpler and more accessible than ever.